The holiday season is like a ninja robber; it creeps up behind you and before you know it your throat is slashed and your wallet is empty. Everywhere you look there’s TV commercials featuring impossible scenes of familial happiness and piles of useless “I don’t know what the hell to get them” gifts like popcorn poppers, hat and glove sets, and board games that will supply yard sales and thrift stores for years to come. And of course, it’s this time of year that everyone rolls out their holiday gift guides and Cracked LCD is no exception. In the spirit of giving, I’m pleased to bring you the First Annual Cracked LCD Holiday Gift Guide.
Now, I’m not going to be so presumptuous as to recommend you buy your nephew Tyler, who loves trains, a copy of TICKET TO RIDE or your cousin Vinnie, the down-at-heel family card shark, a TICHU deck. That’s not what the Cracked LCD Gift Guide is all about. Instead, I’d like to give you all an easy-to-use guide that will assist you in picking out my presents so that you all don’t get me the same thing or something I don’t want, like a copy of AGRICOLA. (Get Mike a signed copy of Santiago…check.—ed)
You should all probably correspond with each other to make sure nobody doubles up. But please, save receipts and for the love of Santa Claus, no gift certificates. Now, I know some of these items are a little expensive so I definitely don’t mind if you all pool your budgets and go in together on some of the larger requests.
Right—here we go then.
SETTLERS OF CATAN 10th ANNIVERSARY TREASURE CHEST (Mayfair Games, $300 but less if you look around) - Nothing would make my holiday brighter than this, the ne plus ultra of the SETTLERS OF CATAN line. I’ve wanted it for years but could never justify dropping the bucks for it although it’s absolutely worth the price of admission. Inside this hardwood treasure chest are super deluxe, 3D molded resin editions of the SETTLERS base game and the essential CITIES AND KNIGHTS expansion. It’s the perfect gift—something I would never buy for myself but it’s something I would cherish for the rest of my life. Wouldn’t you like to be the one who provides me with such holiday joy?
FULL METAL PLANETE (Ludoliere, $400+ via various eBay auctions)- I’ll be so thrilled when one of my beloved readers shows up with a gift-wrapped copy of this 1988 French classic that features all these great pewter tanks and real rocks. This is a way-out-of-print game that never should have gone out of print. Players compete to strip mine a planet of its resourcey goodness while engaging in direct combat and avoiding the pesky shifts in the planet’s tidal system. It’s a zero-luck, action point based system that can collapse with players who over-analyze things but it’s definitely the kind of game that becomes a collection centerpiece. Used copies not in shrink-wrap are acceptable.
DESCENT: ROAD TO LEGEND expansion and TIDE OF IRON: DAYS OF THE FOX expansion (Fantasy Flight Games, $49.95 each)- Alright, I know some of you will wait until the last minute and will need something a little easier to pick up at a FLGS and these games aren’t quite released yet anyway. But they’ll be home for Christmas, and I’ll be thanking you profusely when you show your holiday spirit by bundling both of these into one glorious gift. ROAD TO LEGEND looks set to revolutionize DESCENT with a campaign-based structure and smaller, random dungeons and DAYS OF THE FOX takes the WWII action of TIDE OF IRON to North Africa for a little Monty-on-Rommel action. ‘Nuff said.
A set of Meteorite D6s (Crystal Caste, $100)- I went with the D6s because I can use them in the widest number of games including most wargames and even TALISMAN. These D6s are made from an actual meteorite that crashed in Oman sometime in the ‘50s. Meteorite, according to Crystal Caste’s ad copy, is rarer on Earth than gold or most precious stones. If you’re a cheapskate, then there’s a $60 set they offer made from the fossilized bones of a Megalodon, which was a gigantic prehistoric shark. I guess I’d settle for those if I had to.
HEROSCAPE with all expansions, add-ons, and extra figures (Hasbro, $500+?)- I love HEROSCAPE. I think it’s a great game that manages to distill a lot of miniature gaming concepts into a simple, lets-have-a-beer and roll dice format. It’s super simple but the visceral thrill of setting up massive battlefields and having Spider-Man go toe-to-toe with an orc on a dinosaur is unmatched. It’s the rare mass-market game that has an X-Factor charm that will, in the long run, create a whole new generation of gamers. But I’m lazy and broke, so I never got anything past the base set although I’ve played with and enjoyed other folks’ massive collections. So a “catch up” gift featuring all the expansion sets (including the store exclusives) would be greatly appreciated. Please include a big Rubbermaid bin as part of the gift so I have a way to store and carry it all.
