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Cracked LCD 20.5: Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars Review
Date: Thursday, July 07, 2011
Author: Michael Barnes

  • Game: Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars
  • Publisher: Toy Vault
  • Designer: Richard Berg
  • Genre: Monster Mash
  • Players: 2-4
  • Playtime: 30-90 minutes


  • What's Hot: Kaiju figures are cool…ish


  • What's Not: Mismatching of designer and subject matter; terrible production; poor rules with conflicting versions and clarifications; overpriced compared to other products on the market

by: Michael Barnes

Toy Vault is a company new to the board game publishing racket; previously the firm was best known for hawking plush dolls and novelty items based on popular nerd properties like Monty Python, the Cthulhu mythos, and Godzilla. Based on the quality and design of Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars, their first big-box title, they should probably stick to the stuffed animals.

This uninspired, dreadfully produced game is one of the worst I have played in recent memory. Despite the hobby market pedigree that veteran wargame designer Richard Berg brings to the title it is every bit as careless and sloppy as the worst mass-market licensed games, and I suspected we were in trouble when the small black and white photocopy-quality rulebook flopped out of the box. But I knew we were in trouble when I read through the few pages of tiny print and immediately had multiple unanswered questions regarding rules and processes that were not addressed at all, let alone inconsistencies in text.

Exacerbating the problem is the fact that Mr. Berg has come forward and claimed that somehow Toy Vault used the wrong rules or something and so he’s posted his rules online alongside the publisher’s apparently wrong but corrected rules. In one game, setup turned into a debacle not only because we were short pieces but also because one rulebook had a completely different map layout than another. In play the multiple player aid cards often caused even more confusion. In a simple game about moving miniature monsters, smashing buildings, and punching other miniature monsters there shouldn’t be so much confusion, necessitating online clarifications and head-scratching make-it-up-as-you-go play.

If you really want to play with the four included Kaiju miniatures (Godzilla, Rodan, Gigan, and King Ghidorah), I advise skipping Mr. Berg’s and Toy Vault’s rules and just make up your own. You’ll have more fun. The problem with the rules other than conflicting versions is that they are simply uninteresting, seeming to occur in this nether-realm where the last 20 years of progress in board game design concepts never happened. I’m all for simple, get-to-the-point rules without a lot of guff but there’s just nothing here of interest and the complexity comes from poor design rather than depth.

Essentially, it’s an action point miniatures game taking place on a gaudily illustrated grid. The action points represent a Kaiju’s energy and are spent to perform tasks from smashing a Charleston, South Carolina fish restaurant to stepping on tanks or firing breath weapons. Military units are controlled by opponents, targeting the “most destructive” Kaiju and serving as little more than speed bumps. Each Kaiju has a couple of special powers and each has a unique deck of combat cards.

Combat between Kaiju isn’t even worth mentioning in its basic rules variant, but in the advanced rules it is represented by this silly system wherein players each play cards and line them up, rolling a die to determine which of the six icons on the cards will be used. So Godzilla can have a go at King Ghidorah and wind up taking the brunt of the damage, which makes attacking a weirdly risky proposition. Cards have different flavor text effects and can sometimes be powered up with energy, but there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason as to why cards have certain effects. Combat effects are fairly detailed, ranging from knockdowns to grapples, but far too many cards are either circumstantially unplayable or ineffective.

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