In writing this, I realized that any game that you may see and think “that looks like it’d be pretty funny” is usually pretty much useless. So lump in the KILLER BUNNIES and the Z-Man B-MOVIE card games here as well. Bring the funny yourself; don’t rely on a handful of cards that you’ll soon tire of to supply the laughs. It doesn’t matter if you want simple take-that style card games with nasty mechanics, there’s plenty more out there worth your time. The Cold War-era classic NUCLEAR WAR or the venerable FAMILY BUSINESS are a good start.

5) REINER KNIZIA’S X, WHERE “X” IS THE TITLE OF A GAME THAT WAS PREVIOUSLY RELEASED IN GERMAN EIGHT YEARS AGO AND IS NOW BEING PUBLISHED BY A US COMPANY THAT HAS RETHEMED IT

If you’re not already familiar with the name Reiner Knizia, then obviously you haven’t done your homework. Knizia is the most prolific game designer since the glory days of Sid Sackson (ACQUIRE), and although he’s done more than his share of truly brilliant, masterful games (check out RA, LORD OF THE RINGS, and TIGRIS & EUPHRATES for instance) the man is also somewhat of a hack; he reuses mechanics over and over again and it’s not uncommon to play a “new” Knizia game and feel like you’ve done it all before in one of his earlier releases. Over the past couple of years his stature has grown outside of Eurogame circles (he’s even doing a Nintendo DS game now) and unscrupulous publishers have snatched up dozens of his formerly import-only releases, slapped on a new theme (which isn’t too hard since most of Knizia’s games are very abstract), and repackaged the game usually with his name clearly stated on the front.

Folks, these second tier Knizia games generally suck. I’m reminded of how there’s always all this talk of these vault’s worth of unreleased Prince material yet when you hear these tracks it’s always disappointing; you hear bits that later developed into better songs, ideas that just didn’t work, and a general sense of second-rate quality. Save your money for the more expensive, classic titles to get your Knizia jollies.

So there we have it—at least a perfunctory litany of the damned. There’s a few interesting points here, not the least of which is that licensed games (games with familiar themes from movies, novels, or video games for instance) aren’t always bad despite three instances here where they get the ol’ 86. In fact, some of the LORD OF THE RINGS games are among the best games ever published and the new STAR WARS ORIGINAL TRILOGY RISK is the best RISK variant ever made. Also, “funny” games suck. That’s my general line on it. However, it does bear repeating that I completely encourage anyone to try any of these games (apart from MUNCHKIN…) for themselves and form your own opinion about them. Just don’t invite me to the table when you’re rounding up players!

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