In a recent feature for GameShark, Susan Arendt detailed a PR event for Richard Garriott’s upcoming MMO, Tabula Rasa. It was your usual run of the mill PR event with your usual, run of the mill helicopters and usual, run of the mill exploding construction sites. Granted this was all put on by someone who collects suits of armor like you and I might collect US State quarters, but the whole thing got me thinking...
With the extremely crowded release calendar for the upcoming months, publishers are missing out on valuable opportunities to shill their wares while at the same time, upstage their competitors. Lucky for them, I’m here to give them some valuable ideas.
Don’t thank me all at once.
Kane and Lynch – It’s the “Steal This Game!” contest. Players compete in teams of two to see who can carry off the wackiest, craziest, most off the wall bank, liquor store or armored car heists ever! Players should film themselves getting in tense standoffs with the police, fending off waves of SWAT teams, and choking down canisters of tear gas while trying to not get their asses shot off. Fun! Extra points for receiving consecutive life sentences, or for having to move to Paraguay and hide in a village until the heat dies down, or they die of Cholera, whichever comes first.
Rock Band – Throw a “Party Like a Rock Band” pre-release event. After checking out a sold out Bon Jovi show, attendants will be invited to party like Bon Jovi after the gig. Now that Jon Bon Jovi is old and married, the gaming press will be invited back to Jon’s house where they’ll put his kids to bed, eat a ham sandwich while standing over the sink and then fall asleep in bed to Tivo’ed episodes of Law and Order. Rock on!
Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations – What better way to give players the thrill of being a lawyer than by allowing them to experience the intricacies of trial law first hand? Five lucky fans will be chosen for the “Phoenix Wright: Defend Yourself” contest and tasked with representing themselves in a court of law for a crime they didn’t commit. Winners get a free copy of the newest Phoenix Wright game and the continued taste of glorious, glorious freedom. The best part is that with the appeals process, this contest, and the resulting publicity, can be dragged out for decades!
Army of Two – Take the “Kane and Lynch” idea and just replace robbing banks with designing homoerotic body armor and face masks. Same rules apply.
Hellgate: London – Using ancient texts recently unearthed from deep underneath the London subway system, throw the “Blimey, It’s Demons!” portal to hell pre-release party. Attendants will get a feel for the atmosphere of Hellgate: London as demons run wild through the streets of London. Once the event is over, Manchester United fans will be bused in and told that the demons are just particularly ugly Arsenal fans. The situation should take care of itself.
Eye of Judgement – Sony throws a party where they do their best to convince people that it’s well worth it to spend over 500 dollars to play a card game that normally would be bought at a comic book store for less than ten bucks.
