The Games You (Most Likely) Won’t Play in 2008
Our resident crank, Mr. Binky, peers into his tongue-in-cheek crystal ball and reveals the games that will slip and miss their 2008 calendar release date. Probably. Maybe.
Date: Friday, February 01, 2008
Author: Brandon “Mr. Binky” Cackowski-Schnell

It’s a game! No, it’s a safari simulator! No, it’s a, wait, what is it again? Sony sure as biscuits doesn’t know, and until they figure it out, you won’t be playing it.

Anything from Blizzard that doesn’t have the words “World” or “Warcraft” in it – PC

Blizzard doesn’t need to do anything but sit back, maintain the servers and roll around in their huge piles of cash, but despite this, they’ve started working on StarCraft 2, no doubt in an effort to make sure every man, woman and child in South Korea helps out the Terran cause. Don’t get your hopes up for seeing it this year though, or any other sequel to their other franchises, unless you can somehow get the Chinese to televise Diablo 2 tournaments.

L.A. Noire – PS3

Noire means “night” in French, or it means “black”. I don’t remember. Hey! Maybe this is going to be a video game remake of the classic Martin Lawrence time travel caper “Black Knight”! We can only hope, seeing how we won’t be playing it this year.

So there you have it -- a completely non-scientific, partially irrational look at the games that, sadly, you won't be seeing this year. I am virtually guaranteed to be right on at least 30% of these. Mark it down. I am that good.

Shaun White Snowboarding: Road Trip Review
Forever ruining snowboarding with a standard controller.
Jillian Michaels Fitness Ultimatum 2009 Review
This Ultimatum may go unheard
Play like you’re dateless, in high school, and it’s 1988. Ahhh memories!
An innovative first-rate way to play the world’s game on the Wii.
Hacking enemies over and over and over..........
Get the girls together to fix up some Whatsits
Yet another music game for the Wii
Featuring characters from Princess on Ice
Yet another music game for the Wii and DS
Call of Duty: World at War Preview
Call of Duty makes another attempt at the Wii.
WWE Smackdown vs Raw Preview
Swing ladders, taunt opponents and hasten the fall of civilization
As a newcomer to Waffle Island, help the inhabitants and restore nature's magic.
Animal Crossing: City Folk and WiiMusic highlight new Wii game announcements.
Relive the glory days of Aerosmith in this band-specific edition of Guitar Hero. Just try to ignore everything post 1980.