Mr. Binky’s Random Stuff: Snidely Whiplash Returns
Mr. Binky sits down again with EA’s Director of Corporate Acquisitions.
Date: Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Author: Brandon Cackowski-Schnell

SW: Name one. (long pause)

(long pause)

SW: Precisely! The Madden series alone keeps us awash in cash and that’s just one sports series. We have dozens of them. Dozens! Best selling cricket series? Ours. Jai alai? Ours. Diving, racing, curling? Ours. Ours. Ours. All new games, all with no new features, all at premium prices. It’s delightful!

GS: Ok, so if the money isn’t a problem, then how does EA handle the merging of various cultures? Ken Levine (ex-EA employee, current Take Two employee, via 2K Boston, and game designer extraordinaire) has said that he’d never work for EA again. How would EA foster a beneficial working relationship with those that are so clearly unhappy with their previous employment at EA?

SW: Did you know that the human brain can be kept alive for up to four weeks in a jar full of saline and select amino acids and protein chains? And not only alive, but communicative as well? Not just basic emotions, but complex concepts such as, oh, I don’t know…BioShock 2 concept designs and story ideas? Let’s just say that EA has the means of fostering all manner of beneficial working relationships and we’re more than happy to employ them.

GS: Right. Moving on, there are those that think that your offer to acquire Take Two is simply the final part of your plan to have a complete monopoly on sports titles. With Take Two as part of EA, the various 2K sports games would be discontinued. Is this true?

SW: Absolutely not!

GS: But you’re nodding your head.

SW: Am I? Just a muscle spasm, I’m sure.

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