You try coming up with a story explaining why over thirty characters from dozens of games all decided to get together and hang out and see how well you do. Besides, were you really going to play 300 matches just to unlock Sonic? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Besides, you get stickers. Stickers! Who doesn’t like stickers? I can’t wait to get the googly eyed, puffy Tingle sticker. Once I do, it’s going right on the cover of my Social Studies notebook, right next to my fuzzy Link.

I hate Friends Codes.

I got nothing.

Look, the sooner you get past all your issues with the game and embrace your inner Jigglypuff, the happier you’ll be. You’re going to be playing it for the next five years, so better that you just accept its flaws and move on. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get some pie.

Questions or comments for Mr. Binky? Send them here. .

Mr. Binky is our resident cranky old man, and when not on Xbox Live (GamerTag: Mister Binky) can be found on his own site, Disparate Elements telling visitors to get the heck off of his lawn.