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Mr. Binky’s Random Stuff: Remembering Baldur's Gate
Mr. Binky recounts time spent with a classic.
Date: Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Author: Brandon Cackowski-Schnell

"Right. Well, folks, here goes nothing. Remember, to let the traps do their job first. Once the smoke clears, wait for me signal, then let loose with everything ye got on what's left. Don't move until I tell ye to. We don't know if what comes out first will be first or last." With that, I used the key that the helmite ghost had given me for the lock of the seal. There was a ripping sound, like the air had been torn apart, then the worst smell ye can imagine followed by the sound of my traps doing what they were designed te do, namely blow up whatever was unlucky enough te step on them.

"Boo says that's the largest meerkat he's ever seen!"

"For the glory of Helm! Attack!"

Bollocks. If we survived this, I swore I would kill that bloody cleric.

Ah-ha-ha-ha! That was a good scrap, it was. It took us a good few hours to cut Anomen out of the belly of that meerkat. Well, we could have done it sooner, but sometimes, fermenting in the digestive juices of a preternaturally large mongoose is just the kind of lesson ye need about minding ye're party leader. That's it for tonight lads. Old Tipsy needs more rest now that he's getting older. Besides, Jaheira is still young, and she doesn't always remember that her husband is getting on in years. She has the urges of a young lass if ye catch me meaning. I best be retiring before I have hell te pay. Come see me tomorrow night and I'll tell ye about how I killed a half dragon with nothing but me wits, a Time Stop scroll and a Staff of Invisibility.

Mr. Binky is our resident cranky old man, and when not on Xbox Live (GamerTag: Mister Binky) can be found on his own site, Disparate Elements telling visitors to get the heck off of his lawn.

Questions or comments for Mr. Binky? Send them here. .

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