Sarah Palin: Science Fighter!

Governor Palin is on a quest to destroy earmarks and she won't let anything stand in her way, especially science! Lead the governor through multiple stages smacking down fruit flies and beating up bears in an effort to finally remove all unnecessary earmarks from the federal budget, thereby saving the American people a whopping 1.5% of the discretionary spending budget! Smack down those evil environmentalists, evolutionary biologists and energy scientists while you fight your way to a thrifty, science free future! You betcha!

Bob Barr Solitaire

As Bob Barr, you play all by your lonesome because no one else will play with you. You'll show them! Play well enough and next election cycle, you may have enough people to play Go Fish, or Slapsies!

National Media Build-A-Pundit Workshop

Oh no! The American people are starting to think for themselves! As the National media, it's your job to shove a political pundit in front of them at every available opportunity to tell the people what their opinions are. Too bad that all of your existing pundits are all super rich newscasters who the common man can't relate to. What's a news producer to do? Why, build your own pundit of course! Choose from dozens of templates like Joe the Plumber, Tito the Builder, Sally the Teacher, Roger the Rabbit and Mack the Knife! Shove a microphone in their face to find out who they support, then, after you've built them up to where other media outlets want their opinion, start delving into their past so that you can tear them down! If you don't do this, you might actually have to ask relevant, probing questions of the candidates and *gasp!* report the news!

Don't delay, game designers! These ideas won't wait around forever! Soon the American people will go back to being the same disinterested, disenfranchised citizens that made this the best country on Earth. Strike while the iron is hot! And remember, I'm Mr. Binky, and I approved this column.

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