Left 4 Dead – Get to da Choppa!

So you’re playing Left 4 Dead with your friends and after some hectic action and some very close calls, the team make it to the final mission of the campaign. The team gets locked and loaded, ready to take on the upcoming army and hunkers down into position. Everything goes well for a while and then the ground starts rumbling. Ut oh. Tank.

Everyone scatters and a Molotov is tossed. One person gets plastered by the Tank, tossed against the wall like a ragdoll and crumples to the ground, but the Tank loses interest and moves on to other prey while you squirm about on the ground pointing your pistols at whatever moves. Finally, burned to death, the Tank is no more but you are slowly leaking your life away - waiting for one of the other three to come to your rescue. You can see their silhouette, you know where they are, you know they aren’t moving, you know they aren’t going to risk getting tongued by a Smoker, and you know they aren’t coming for you.

Finally after another onslaught of an undead tidal wave, the chopper comes in and lands and all you can do watch. Watch and hope they all die as they run for the chopper. You bastards. But no, the other three make it and you could have too…if someone took two seconds to help you up. Way to survive and stuff. Hope you are proud of yourselves!

Shadow of the Colossus – The road to hell is paved with good intentions

Poor Wander. The “hero” of The Shadow of the Colossus travels to the Shrine of Worship with the body of a woman named Mono; the only place, that the stories tell, can restore the souls of the dead to their once living hosts. However he is informed that to do this, it is no small feat and he must destroy the 16 colossi that inhabit the land.

Companioned with his horse Agro and equipped with a mysterious sword, Wander can locate each of the beasts as well as locate the weak spots that each one possesses to destroy it. Once the 16 creatures are brought down, Wander will have his wish fulfilled, but is warned it will come at a price.

There’s nothing wrong with that right? Not so right. As it turns out, the colossi are not evil and for those paying attention, it is never stated that they are. In fact the voice that tells you to destroy the mammoth creatures is the evil one, toying with you to release his powers that have been split up into each of the creatures. Once you complete your goal by downing each of the monstrosities, you finally realize this a little too late. Although the voice is not a TOTAL douche, he does live up to his end of the bargain and Mono is brought back to life - only to have to take care of you.

Fable II – Pick a card, any card

After your fantastic voyage through the land of Albion, you have pretty much decided which moral path you have set upon. But, at the end of the game, after the final showdown with Lucien within the Spire, you are given a chance to redeem yourself or go balls deep into your already chosen path. Once Lucien is dealt with, either by your hand or by Reaver’s, you are given the choice of one of three cards to pick. The options are Wealth, Love and Sacrifice.

With Sacrifice, you will be able to bring back all the people that died during the Spires making. If that is your choice, then you are the holiest of holy and you have given up the chance to see your family and even your little pooch ever again. If you choose Love, you get to see your family again and you will let all those who were killed during the Spire construction to remain worm food. If you decide to go with the most tempting offer and go for Wealth, you are rewarded with a million gold and forfeit ever seeing your loved ones again, as well as anyone else across the land seeing their loved ones as well. Yea, I took the money too. I’m not proud of it, but I sleep very comfortably in my castle now. Beside, Hammer bitches no matter which outcome you choose. Might as well get paid for it.

So there you go. Those are my choice for the Not-so-Proud Moments of Gaming. If you played these games and felt like an ass when making these choices have no fear, plenty of other people did too. Games usually make you feel as though you have an omnipotent power over the world and that you are unstoppable, but sometimes games can find a way to humble you, no matter how many lives you have.

Have a case when you felt like a gaming lowlife? Drop us a line