Nostalgic memories of Dungeon Keeper? Check. Gigantic slurpee mug full of sugary goodness? Check. Copies of all the Austin Powers movies released to date? Check. Gigantic James Bond poster? Check. Review build of Evil Genius? Check! The list cleared, I was all set to dive into the wacky, crazy, incredibly enticing world of “Evil Genius”, a neat new title that promises to combine two of my favorite themes: Dungeon Keeper, and taking over the world. Lord knows I’ve had enough of killing henchmen and knocking down bosses in my gaming career – let me be the bad guy for a change once again! Only slowed by the awkwardness of the packaging around the box, I quickly ripped out the game discs, shoved them into my CD drive in order, commenced installing, and prepared for gaming greatness. Would a game I was looking forward to with such vigor actually live up to expectations for a change? I was about to find out.

For the uninformed, Evil Genius is a Dungeon Keeper-esque strategy game, meaning that the focus is on managing your minions just as much as building up your base. Keeping them nice, happy, and, most importantly, loyal is the key to winning the game, but you don’t actually have direct control over these minions; only your evil genius and the higher-class “henchmen” can be directly manipulated, while lower-class servants can only be ordered indirectly, such as by issuing construction commands or “tagging” specific units. After watching the wacky intro and starting a new campaign, players can select from one of three possible evil geniuses (each with a unique benefit), who are then rushed to their newfound island in the middle of nowhere to begin their nefarious plans of world domination. Each of the three characters has a rather detailed background and a special ability – the squat and balding Maximilian enhances his evil empire’s research capabilities, the slim and seductive attention-whore Alexis demands the utmost respect from her minions and will reduce the rate their “loyalty” meter will drop, and the enigmatic Shen Yu benefits from a network of conspirators around the world, who will actively work at informational sabotage and subsequently increase the time it takes for enemy agents to start snooping around once the player puts his nefarious plans of infamy into motion. With a character selected and the game loaded, the next step is to carve an underground lair into the huge mountain at the center of the island. After all, every evil empire needs a base of operations to begin from.

The game’s interface is very simple and intuitive, and is something any fan of the older titles the now defunct development company Bullfrog was famous for will instantly settle into with ease. That said, thanks to an expansive tutorial, a helpful plethora of tooltips, and even physical videos that play at critical moments to educate the player on important gameplay elements, even less experienced players won’t have to worry about wasting time grappling with trying to understand how the game works when they could be taking over the world instead, as the game doesn’t hesitate to lay all critical information the player needs to know to survive right on the table. Carving out the entrance to the lair of evil is as simple as right clicking on a suitable area on the mountain, then selecting the items screen and putting down a door, while setting up the base itself is done through the construction of various rooms – which, again, is done by right clicking on an empty plot of dirt inside of the mountain, selecting the Rooms option, and then choosing a room to construct. Then all the player has to do is click and drag to set up the room itself and an entrance, then put down any sub-objects and traps he wants built and confirm the build order. A worker minion will then grab some cash from the storage room, run off to the local island depot to purchase some explosives and equipment, blow a suitable chunk out of the mountain for the room, and then place down all of the relevant objects. In fact, building just about every object in this game is really that simple – just plunk down the blueprint, and wait for a minion to come around to put the thing together. Some objects have to be rotated so that the “hot spots” minions use to manipulate the object can be accessed properly, but this is just done by right-clicking.

Of course, while setting up the evil lair is fairly simple, actually managing it is another matter entirely, and once the basic facilities have been established, the game’s true complexity comes into play. The ultimate objective of the game, naturally, is to construct a doomsday weapon of such terrifying power that the entire world will have no choice but to capitulate and cower in terror at your fearsome magnificence, but getting there is a long road of gradually clawing your way to the top of the crime ladder. This is done by establishing a firm, loyal workforce and using the game’s “World Domination” screen to you’re your goons out into the world to carry out your bidding, which is something I’ll touch on more of in a bit. Unfortunately, the goody-two-shoes forces of justice aren’t about to sit around and let you take over the world bit by bit, and performing regular “acts of infamy” (as the game calls them) will eventually attract a number of agents to your not-so-secret island with the hopes of uncovering your base of operations and sabotaging it in any way possible. These can come in the form of basic investigators and cat burglars (who try to take pictures of objects that have a high “heat” rating back for evidence, or just steal them outright), or go all the way up to enemy soldiers and agents who attempt to infiltrate your base, and then just shoot the hell out of anything they see, often causing enough chaos and misery to foil whatever plan you have brewing. Your main line of defense against this is three-fold: Traps, minions, and henchmen. Traps will be covered a bit later, but for now, let us discuss the basic minions.

As James Bond has taught us, it’s nearly impossible to effectively run a high-tech underground complex without the assistance of a huge army of cheap, expendable labor, and Evil Genius definitely has plenty of expendables to offer. “Workers” are the most basic unit available, and have the advantage of being the most flexible unit available – they’ll do all the menial chores, including unpacking furniture and other base objects, constructing new rooms, moving any items you decree, and can even attack enemies – although in combat they tend to drop like flies in a perfectly stereotypical manner. Technicians are required for base maintenance, as they are the only minion class capable of repairing damaged objects. Guards are your basic foot-soldier that specialize only in two things – beating the crap out of people, and shooting the crap out of people – while Valets are one of the most insanely useful minion types in the game, as they will distract any enemy agents wandering around your island, diverting their attention away from whatever evil scheme you have cooking in a non-violent, non-heat-generating manner and making them forget anything offensive they may have seen. There are also a number of even more advanced minions as you progress through the training system (such as beefier military units, scientists, and crazy spin-doctors), but even getting basic men like Valets takes a certain level of effort.

The way the training system works is that it is ultimately impossible to purchase or recruit any unit more sophisticated than a worker, meaning that the only way to upgrade through the skill tree is to take a basic worker and train him into something better. To do this, minions must first be sent out on missions to capture certain specialists around the world, who will then bring them back to the island and interrogate them to learn their secrets. There are three trees that can be pursued; Social, Military, and Science, and in order to get a minion of a more advanced type, a worker is needed, as well as an existing minion of the type you want to train (whom is required to teach the lowly worker the tricks of his new trade). Don’t already have any of the advanced minion types you want? Too bad, you’ll have to venture out into the world and do some kidnapping to crudely transform one of your workers into the necessary unit type before you can make more of them. So long as you have at least one of those minions handy however, you’ll always be able to train up more from within the comfort of your own base, so it’s always a good idea to ensure that at least one advanced minion under your malevolent employ remains safe somewhere, just in case the rest of them end up being taken out somehow.

Henchmen, conversely, are totally unique minions that can be hired out from the World Domination screen as your evil empire’s notoriety rating increases (you’re offered a variety of henchmen, but can only select one each time), and can actually be issued direct orders. While they’re unable to perform menial tasks (naturally because it’s something quite beneath them – you never saw Jaws sweeping the floors or carrying boxes around now, did you?), they are far more combat-capable than your average minions, can give big bonuses to any group sent out into the world for a mission, and have some neato special abilities that can be unlocked as they gain experience, such as Jubei’s teleportation ability, or Dr. Neurocide’s lethally distracting toxin spray. But most importantly, they cannot be killed, only temporarily knocked out once their health reaches zero, making them a very useful asset to have handy if you need something with muscle to repel an invasion force.

There is an exception however; enemy super-agents. Much like henchmen, super-agents have a number of special abilities and are much more combat-capable than the typical Justice-Patrol agent, but they also possess the capability to kill your henchmen. Henchmen have three “lives”, and once they’re all depleted, that particular unit is lost forever, so obviously henchmen need to be deployed carefully in these situations. As another crazy gameplay twist, super-agents, like henchmen, are also completely incapable of being normally killed (except that super-agents don’t have a “lives” rating to worry about), and can only be knocked out. The only way to get rid of a super-agent is to either use social minions to confuse the hell out of them until they get fed up and leave empty-handed, or to capture them and subject them to all forms of sadistic and inhumane torture and research until their secret weakness is discovered and the proper torture device constructed. Just make sure they don’t escape whilst held in the bowels of your evil lair, or the explosives they place will cause you some very expensive headaches – not to mention the huge amount of manpower usually required to take a super-agent down again once he or she really starts going.

And finally, traps are one of the game’s most creative ways to interfere with an enemy agent’s investigation. Traps consist of two elements that must be constructed: a sensor, and the trap itself to link to, and really give an aspiring evil genius the ability to test just how evil he can be. Traps can range from simple pop-up dummy targets that confuse and disorient would-be infiltrators, all the way up to elaborate bee traps, gas chambers that drop from the ceiling, pits of doom, and other crazy and hilarious stuff that is unlocked later on in the campaign. Linking a sensor to a trap is as simple as clicking on a sensor, selecting the red halo above it, and then clicking on a similar red halo where the trap is, but traps should be placed down with care, as your own inattentive minions may occasionally set them off, potentially setting you back a few minutes of training effort. Still, considering how the player actually gets cash bonuses for building up incredibly elaborate defenses that bounce an agent from one trap to the other before eventually meeting his final doom, there is a lot of room available to really go crazy with the system and end up well-rewarded for the results. There isn’t even any excuse to be nervous about spending time making a trap and having to wait for an enemy agent to trigger it, only to learn that it doesn’t work – a “crash test dummy” crate can be purchased at a moment’s notice to put your defenses to the test and ensure they’re all working as they are supposed to.

While most of the game’s physical action occurs while viewing the island, a significant amount of time will also be sunk into the World Domination screen, which I’ve already mentioned a few times before. Here’s how the world in Evil Genius works: The planet is divvied up between several organizations, such as S.A.B.R.E., A.N.V.I.L., and, of course, the ever-annoying P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Each of the major continents around the world are controlled by a different faction, whom all have access to their own unique super-agent, as well as some purely defensive security forces that like to pop up at inopportune moments to throw a wrench into your finely crafted campaigns of terror. Your own evil island is quite nicely hidden and not listed on the map, but the rest of the world is easily accessible. Sending out minions into the world is easy; just left-click on a continent to zoom in, and then click on the available minions at the bottom of the screen to send them off. Back at your lair of evil, the selected men will then run off to either the helipad or the port, where a vehicle will then come along a couple of minutes later to pick them up for transit.