It's election day people! If you haven't voted already, get out there and do so, multiple times if you can get away with it! No act as an American citizen is as important as the act of voting, unless you live in a state that your candidate is projected to lose, in which case you're probably just wasting your time. On the flip side, free cookies. Wait, that's blood donations. Do you get anything for voting? A sticker? Seriously? Well, if you haven't donated blood already, get out there and do so! Free cookies!
Whether you're a tax and spend liberal or a greedy conservative, the one thing we can all agree on is that this election season has been going on way too long, and nothing will be sweeter than it being finished. Well, until the next one starts up, roughly seven minutes after this one ends. Once the dust settles and our new fearless leader has been elected, and sets about doing absolutely nothing that they promised to do while on the campaign trail, except for Palin who I'm pretty sure will celebrate her inauguration by personally drilling into a family of Polar Bears, will we miss all of the laughter and tears of the campaign season? Probably not, but, for those that never tire of the incessant sniping and mud slinging, wait, sorry, snipin' and mud slingin' of the candidates, I present the following games designed with all of the candidates at heart. You're just one touch of the stylus away from pallin' around with the candidate of your choosin'. Wink!
Imagine: Socialist with Barack Obama
You've just been elected to the highest office in the land, and man, is this place a mess! Rich people who worked hard for what they have, scraping and saving all the while are controlling all of the wealth while the filthy poor lay about and do nothing, save hold up their hand for some sort of assistance. It's enough to make a proper Socialist cry. Wielding Tax and Spend, your trusty hammer and sickle, you'll guide President Obama through a never ending cycle of taxing and spending, spending and taxing, to redistribute all of that wealth. Raise that tax rate! Socialize that health care! Protect those baby owls, or egrets or whatever the hell lives in places that we have oil, but don't want to drill into because some rare winter fox needs to take a leak. Once all of the wealth has been distributed evenly among the masses, you win! In Socialist America, wealth redistributes you!
Joe Biden's Gaffe Rampage!
Joe Biden is on the loose, and he won't shut up! Every time he opens his mouth, he threatens to say something to sink Senator Obama's historic campaign! Here he's saying that once Obama is elected, the world is going to test the US! Here he's saying that he's less qualified than Hilary Clinton! Here he won't stop talking about Scanton and Home Depot and Bo and Luke Biden riding around in the General Lee to the Amtrak station! Make him stop! As Senator Obama, you have to board your trusty Ped-o-Jet 3000 and shoot feet into Senator Biden's mouth before he wrecks your campaign. The more feet you shoot in Biden's mouth, the better your chance of closing it, but don't forget to shoot down the gaffe's that fly out of Biden's mouth! Oh no, your poll numbers are slipping! Shoot, baby, shoot!
Where are my keys? The John McCain Hidden Object Game
Senator John McCain is late for his appearance on Meet the Press, but he can't find his keys! Where can they be? Help the Senator search through his eight houses as he looks for his keys, as well as other objects like Osama Bin Laden and his pledge to run a positive campaign. That last one is probably in his pants from the year 2000. If you don't find the keys in time, Senator McCain will be late, and no one will know about the five former Secretaries of State that endorse him. Or is it four? I can never remember. George Schultz!
