God Of War II – The squeaky wheel gets the grease

Kratos, not known for having an over abundance of human kindness or compassion at any point in his life, he can go a little too far at times. Sure the excessive overkills he takes so much glee in by ripping heads and limbs off creatures might seem drastic, but in God of War II, Kratos goes a bit too far when he is presented with a challenge that requires him to stop a turning cog.

With nothing in sight other than a fellow Spartan soldier – who is begging you to help him no less - Kratos picks up his body and tosses it into the wheel to stop it from turning and then proceeds to smash it with his momma hammer. Really Kratos? You can’t hit a gear while it’s turning? You need to toss one of your soldier’s bodies in there first? Not a gorgon or anything, but one of your own soldiers. Such a heartless bastard and seriously not a proud moment for everyone involved.

GTA IV – Breaking up is hard to do

So Dwayne, the oh so cuddly, one time associate of Playboy X, finally gets released out of the hoosegow and doesn’t have too many friends to turn to. Once Playboy X introduces Niko to Dwayne, things go well, so well that Niko begins to do missions for him. In one of the missions you are to perform for Dwayne, it turns out that his girlfriend named Cherise has been seeing a not-so-nice fellow and well-known snitch named Jayvon Simson.

While the mission objective is to snuff Jayvon out at the local arcade, when you arrive there, you are given the choice to either let Cherise go or let her suffer the same fate as Jayvon soon will. Yea, I took her out. She was looking at me with a crazy eye. I swear. Shameful I know, but for those that didn’t mow her down like an unruly patch of crabgrass, I hope you had fun when she popped up again later on complaining about her new boyfriend beating her.

The Darkness – I’m Just a girl

Jackie Estacado is a bad ass. You play video games, you pretend to kill people, you make life and death decisions in the blink of an eye. You are a man. You become THE badass. Even if you are a woman, you become a man playing the Darkness. No arguments. But really early in the game you go to your girlfriend’s apartment, the sweet and warm blooded – for the time being – Jenny Romano.

So what do you do when you get there? You don’t get out the Crisco and the Twister board, no, you sit on the couch and watch her black and white TV while she goes to sleep. I know you did it, and while it’s sweet and endearing, you did it for a long while. We all did, and while some guys may have had a great time watching TV while there was a hot girl – a hot video game girl - sleeping beside them, I’m not proud of it. At least not when I could be out eating hearts and giggling at Darklings and their shenanigans.