Rumble Roses is going to make the average, red-blooded, male gamer feel “funny.” For what average, red-blooded, male gamer doesn’t love a good cat fight? And Rumble Roses from beginning to end promises and delivers a whole series of cat fights with great-looking, scantily-clad babes. And while the whole package may not be the absolute best, there is a real game under the sexy glitz that should keep wrestling fans moderately entertained.
I have to admit that I had very low expectations for this game. It looked like nothing more than a way to titillate adolescent gamers with some polygonal babes in outrageously skimpy costumes and cash in. Well it is that. But if you turn off your brain, think south of the equator (Honestly, guys, who of us doesn’t?), and just enjoy the campy fun of Rumble Roses, a truly good time can be had.
There is a choice of about 22 different wrestlers to play: 10 standard characters and 10 unlockable alter egos. There is one more character and its alter ego that can be unlocked as the game is played through. Each is a different stereotypical fantasy woman. We have the naughty nurse, strict but sexy school teacher, girl in catholic school uniform, Asian fighting girl, etc. Each is just barely clothed in garb appropriate to her persona. They all also have a special entrance animation with musical accompaniment as they approach the ring. They are fun to watch a couple times, but you’ll quickly find yourself skipping past these as you play more.
The game only has two modes of play, but there is still enough variety. The story mode is not just one story. Each character has her own plotline centering around her participation in the Rumble Roses Tournament. Now admittedly these stories are so campy that Batman TV episodes from the ‘60s look serious by comparison, but they none the less give the player many excuses to fight in all kinds of matches. Fortunately the individual stories are short. There is no saving in the middle of a story. Only after a character’s story has been completed can it be saved. Bummer!
The exhibition mode is a one, two or no-player fight between ladies of the player’s choice in a ring of his choosing. You might wonder what “no-player” means. It is what you’d suspect: choose two wrestlers, put them both under computer control, and then just sit back and watch the cuties rumble.
I honestly can’t comment on how the fighting system compares to other wrestling games. It has been some time since I played another wrestling game. The system in Rumble Roses is easy to pick up on and seems to work well enough for the average player to feel he has his wrestler under control. There are striking and grappling moves as well as defensive moves. Each character also has signature moves that inflict heavy damage on her opponents. At first it feels like the computer is cheating a bit but, as the player gets better, each defeat becomes an I-think-I-know-what-I-did-wrong-and-let’s-try-that-again moment that keeps you coming back for another shot at the offending hussy that had the nerve to stomp your ass.
Graphically the game is pretty damned amazing. The women look great and move and jiggle most convincingly. And while their “assets” may defy the laws of gravity, they are not totally outrageous like so many other video vixens. The animation is fluid and conveys a feeling of excitement as a match is fought. The cutscenes are not quite as satisfying, but are serviceable to move the limited story along. The crowd effects are okay, but who is really watching the crowd anyway – other than a game reviewer who has to comment on it.
The audio depart is a mixed bag of elements. Character grunts, groans, squeals, screams, etc. are okay. The sound effects as bodies hit mats and turnbuckles are passable. Cutscene voice acting is bordering on terrible. The music is appropriately driving bump-and-grind stuff.
Rumble Roses is definitely a strange game with a premise that only a person who writes the paper-thin stories that populate the majority of video games could come up with. Its sexuality comes off as more silly than really erotic and, if there wasn’t actually a decent wrestling game under it all, it would be as disposable as yesterday’s newspaper. It is surely not for everyone and you should absolutely resist the urge to show it to your wife or girlfriend as an example of great graphics, but the game is fun and worth a few hours of playing if you don’t think too hard.
© 2004 GameShark.com
