Sega, you really could’ve had it this time. After so many missteps with the Sonic series, including atrocious fare like Sonic The Hedgehog (2006), there are some parts of Sonic Unleashed that get it very, very right, harnessing all the speed and sheer exhilaration of past games. Unfortunately, someone in the company decided it would be “cool” to mix things up a bit with a crazy Sonic transformation and a focus on combat – and whoever this is should be fired.

Unleashed begins with a cutscene that somehow manages to incorporate elements of Star Wars, An American Werewolf in London, and all the cheesy cartooniness (and hideous voice acting) of previous 3D Sonics. Dr. Eggman is back, this time with an evil plot to break a planet in half (unleashing a big blobby “Gaia” creature) and turn Sonic into a “Werehog” which makes no sense, but ok, I’ll go with it. From here on, Sonic spends his time as a normal speedy hedgehog by day, and a lumbering, powerful Werehog by night. There are a few other cutscenes at the game’s outset, including an introduction to another insanely annoying sidekick (Chip), but I’m trying to erase them from my brain. If ever a game was in need of a “skip cutscene” feature, this is it.

As for gameplay, Sega can be commended for at least trying to do something new, and a few RPG-lite elements are painlessly introduced right at the beginning. You “talk” to townspeople in order to collect items and clues that allow you to access the “temple” on each continent. Temples contain levels, which can be accessed by gathering sun and moon medals, earned by completing stages and challenges. Some are of the good, speedy Sonic-y variety, some are fun boss battles and others – too many others - are hopelessly stupid Werehog stages. The “talking up townspeople” bits are very quick and easy (and thankfully text-only), and I’ll take them over the boring 3D overworld of Dreamcast launch classic Sonic Adventure any day, since they take all of 30 seconds to speed through.

As for the levels, well, the logic that’s applied to most 3D games in the series applies here as well – the good levels are the ones in which you play as normal Sonic. You’ll traverse several continents (and we have our usual themes going, with an ice world, jungle world, etc.) and run, jump, slide, sled, do loop de loops and bop enemies just like the old days. The day levels are incredibly reminiscent of Adventure, with tons of speed, color, and reflex-testing, white knuckle moments. If the entire game was based on this, I could easily say that Sonic Unleashed was one hell of a ride.

Sadly, this isn’t the case. Even if you can get over the sheer stupidity of making Sonic a big, brawny “Werehog”, and even if the janky, overly finicky platforming doesn’t put you off, answer me this: who the hell wants to brawl in a Sonic game? You battle wave after wave after wave of repetitive enemies, you scour boring levels for “orbs” necessary to continue through the stage, and you pull your hair out when the iffy controls don’t work perfectly for the many harrowing jumps and swings. The RPG-lite elements are here as well, as Were-Sonic’s abilities and stats are upgraded with successful runs, but it hardly matters. If it weren’t necessary to beat these levels to get to the good stuff, I wouldn’t have played this garbage at all.