Review by: Brian Rowe

I had the most brilliant idea as a child. I loved peanut butter sandwiches and onion-flavored summer sausage, so surely the two combined would create something glorious. I dare say that my concoction was a delicacy compared to the conglomeration of rail-shooting and survival-horror before me. Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles isn’t all bad. Like that sandwich, there are brief moments of pleasure. But, in the face of House of the Dead: Overkill and Dead Space: Extraction, recurring offenses leftover from The Umbrella Chronicles are unforgivable, and compounded by new ones.

Like its predecessor, Darkside Chronicles is a slice of Resident Evil’s (RE) history set on unstoppable rails and loaded with gunpowder. This trip will take you through a Cliff’sNotes version of RE2, a reimagining of Code: Veronica, and a short tale to fill in the gap between before RE4. Each chapter has two playable characters, but the choice is wholly superficial. Unlike the shifting narrative of RE2, the story never changes. The remnants of plot are likely incoherent to newcomers anyway.

Here’s a little factoid for your next trivia night. The Chronicles spin-off began as an effort to appeal to the simpler palates of Wii-owners. As a fan that played through RE2 four times in a single day, a full retelling complete with branching stories would have been a dream come true. The nostalgia of facing old bosses, like the alligator and Dr. Birkin, and catching fleeting glimpses of familiar passages will have to do. I would comment more on the section derived from Code: Veronica, but it’s one of the few editions with which I lack experience.

As amusing as it is seeing the streets of Raccoon City and Umbrella’s labs faithfully recreated in three dimensions, the visual representations are nothing short of hideous. They look adequate in static screenshots, but in motion, the blocky models and grainy textures are only a short step above the quality expected from the DS. Anyone who has played the re-release of RE4 knows that Darkside Chronicles’ graphics are absolutely inexcusable, especially when the set paths through levels require fewer assets for the system’s memory with which to contend.

The harsh visuals are amplified by the worst camera-work I have witnessed in a game. I am not being sensationalist. Even during peaceful moments of dialogue, the camera shudders, quakes, and weaves with the intensity of Cloverfield. After 45-minutes, I took a break to recover from a nauseous case of motion-sickness, and this is coming from someone who plays Mirror’s Edge with religious fervor. My stomach eventually adapted, but I would have eagerly welcomed an option to reduce the shakiness, as seen in Dead Space: Extraction.