You play Vito, home from the horrors of World War II and thrust into a life of crime with your childhood buddy Joe. Joe is already connected and he pulls you into the life of a petty criminal. The writing is at times crisp and paced well and the voice acting superb. The dialogue is much more Goodfellas than Godfather, though. To say that the speech is vulgar isn’t telling the whole story. No one is spared from racial slurs to shocking verbal slams toward women. It may be authentic but it’s also a bit jarring.

Empire Bay itself, as hollow as it is, does look the part. The scenery is stellar, starting in the 40s and progressing into the rock and roll 50s. The radio is jammed with tunes from the 1940s, with staples like Buttons and Bows to 50s classics from Chuck Berry and Little Richard, and believe me with all the driving you do – listening to Chuck Berry helps immeasurably. It feels and looks authentic. But it’s like that creepy black and white simulation of 50s life in Fallout 3. It’s not real.

There is an interesting story in here. It’s just muddled by shallow and surprisingly absent gameplay and long gaps as you drive around town. You can’t even speed or the cops will pull you over. You are encouraged to stop at red lights. In one bizarre exchange, seconds after an open display of gunfire while driving through Chinatown, Joe asks, “Do you have an aversion to red lights?” Joe literally just shot a man in the face while speeding through the city and he’s upset that I’m committing a moving violation?

There’s also the save checkpoint system which is yet another way the game flips you the bird. I played Mafia II on the PC, and playing on the PC I expect to be able to save my game when I want – not when the game deems that I have passed its sadistic checkpoint spot. Early in the story you are tasked with stealing the gas stamps that you later drive around town selling to the gas station attendants. It’s basically a stealth mission. If the cops spot you, they shoot on sight because ...I guess cops are allowed to shoot unarmed thieves. Anyway, you first have to find the keys to a safe, pick the lock, then escape. If you are shot and killed the game throws you all the way back to before you entered the room with the safe – and you have to pick the lock again. It’s mundane. It’s silly. It’s another way Mafia II simply fails.

With its strict linear nature there is next to no replay value, unless you want to collect Playboy bunny pictures. The sad part of all of this is that there is a good game lost inside the driving, the save checkpoints, and the silly time wasting missions. There’s nothing wrong with making a linear game these days, even if it’s prettied up as an open world experience. The story is good enough that if Mafia II had the gameplay to back it up it could have been a thrilling ride into the low level mob life of the late 40s and early 50s – but the truth is, the gameplay can’t keep pace with the story, and if I want to watch a great mob movie, I have plenty of options, none of which involve wasting time driving around New York.