So, you heard all about Too Human, Silicon Knights' Norse cyberspace romp and wanted to see what the fuss was all about. Now you're sitting on your couch, controller in hand and wondering just what in the hell is going on while goblins use you as a nail file. Fret not dear friend, as I've recently come off of a week long Too Human bender so that I could review the game and I'm here to share my tips on managing your Too Human experience. Sit back, relax and follow these tips and soon you'll be reveling in all of the thumbstick shaking glory that is Too Human.

1. Don't ask questions

The story in this game takes liberties with the traditional hallmarks of good storytelling, namely coherency, narrative flow and fostering an interest in the main character, but most of these things can be dealt with if you simply don't ask questions. I know that once I saw that the Norse pantheon worked at a gigantic office building complete with what appeared to be human underlings, I wanted to know just how one got a job being an accountant to the gods, but thinking like that only got me into trouble. I also wanted to know why, if Thor didn't take any damage while going through the levels with my character, he didn't just do all of the damn work himself and save me the trouble so that I could stay home and eat Sun Chips, but that didn't get me any where.

2. Ignore the irony

You did it didn't you? You went and asked questions. Well, that's just great. So now you probably know that the story of Too Human is based on the notion that we have all become slaves to technology and as a result, we're losing our humanity. Granted, you probably didn't get that from the story as the story doesn't have anything even remotely to do with that notion, but that's not the point. The point is that this is a story cautioning man about the evils of technology, and it's presented on a video game console which, last time I checked is a piece of technology. If any game console encourages technological slavery, it's the 360 with its damnable achievement system which has enslaved millions since being inflicted upon an unsuspecting world. If Silicon Knights really wanted to caution people about technology they would have written the story in a book, or carved it on a tablet, not made it in a video game. That's irony people, or at least it's bad song irony.

3. Don't rely on your teammates

During the combat portions of the game you'll be blessed with either a squad of soldiers, or another god, much in the same way that Joseph Merrick was blessed with a giant, misshapen skull. Your teammates in this game are quite possibly, the most incompetent soldiers to ever grace a video game. Thor ain't much better, unless your idea of a skillful combatant is a guy who rests on one knee while a giant, robotic troll uses your head as a place to repeatedly rest its hammer. When they're not completely missing their targets, the soldiers that make up your squad vacillate between complaining about getting shot at and hitting on each other. Luckily it makes for some unintentionally hilarious sound bites, however when the fate of the world is in your hands, it's doubtful that hearing two soldiers debate the need for bandages in passionate, breathless tones is what the situation calls for. Did I mention that they're also crappy shots?